In the general Indian psyche, the word NO has carried a sense of discomfort- to the speaker and the receiver both. It is seen as a disruption of general harmony, bordering on disrespect. Since time immemorial, saying No, even when it feels like an absolute necessity, has been a sign of non-compliance and sets the tone of defying authority.
Children, from a very young age are taught of saying “YES”, so that they are labelled as a “good child”. So what is encouraged from a tender age, is adults who are confused about their own reality. They become disillusioned and directionless- simply because they keep on saying ‘YES’ to all the places, things, events where their heart is screaming a No.
The chain is linked to the heavy weight we carry of the deeply internal inherited Beliefs. We inherit not just the physiological genes, but also a system of beliefs and thoughts- about roles, responsibilities, marriages and even traditions. While most of them have a deep and beautiful connection to the roots of life and culture, some have started to lose relevance in the current era.
The invisible scripts, which are the common, conventional emotional perceptions do not support true liberation. For example- Sacrifice. We have come around to understand that the core existence and the true value of a woman is in the sacrifices she makes for everyone around her. While it is an achingly beautiful expression of love, sacrifice is not a virtue to be proud of- especially today, where equality is not just the way of life, but also celebrated- because all genders and what they bring to the table is unique.
In these times, saying a NO when needed, should not be a matter of disrespect or degradation. But a tool to walk towards your real self. The one that is authentic and the one which deserves to be set free. That’s where a very gentle truth emerges. Saying NO is not about being selfish. It is about alignment, with our core, true self with the inner balance.
The journey of breaking the conventional belief system should not be romanticized. We should be aware that it comes with its own consequences. It starts with guilt, fear and a sense of doubt. It springs an insecurity of being isolated, or not chosen the next time around. Take a moment and think about a tree. It does not grow to be bountiful if its roots are damaged. The same way, us humans do not become our best, flamboyant self when our roots of inner balance and alignment are disturbed. And therefore we need to understand that saying NO is also an art. Saying it rudely might create a misunderstanding, despite the intentions being in the right place. But gently putting forward a simple negation is easier to the receiver too. So breaking the conventional belief systems is not about rebellion. It is about soft redirection.
In conclusion, living by your authentic self will do tremendous magic to your heart, mind and soul. And in this process, you will slowly change a lot of generational narrative, thus opening a path for the future generations to be more open, more encouraged and deeply connected to their truest self.
