Love. Such a beautiful word and even more beautiful feeling. It is an indescribable warmth when an expecting mother feels the little feet kicking in her belly. It encompasses the joy when siblings wait for each other to reach home from school. Love is the look in the eyes of a pet, waiting for their owners to come home. Love is the heaving sigh of relief when the protagonists in Jane Austen’s novels declare their affection for each other.  And how can we forget, the extra romantic Yash Raj film actors describing and portraying the gorgeous emotion of love? It fills the audience with butterflies not known before. This sentiment goes back thousands of years ago when Krishna lovingly played his flute for the gopis, or He took the feet of his dear friend Sudama and washed them with utter compassion.

In all these external signs and sights, have you ever wondered how we know if we love ourselves?

Self-love starts with acceptance—a complete acceptance of all our flaws and perfections with honesty, in totality. Self-love means you have an affinity for yourself and a positive inner voice. A building sense of self-love comes from knowing, understanding, and appreciating your worth.

A big chunk of self-love comes from forgiveness. Now this is an extraordinary feat because there is no other person involved. There is no spoken or written apology about any past event. Forgiveness is forgiving yourself. It is about letting go of all the parts or events where you were not at your best but acknowledging that you are just human, and to err is human. The belief that you are divine and to love yourself, the divine in you will forgive and pave a path for a new light to shine on your journey. Forgiving yourself will make you see yourself as a more confident person. It will energize your vibration, setting you free.

Another interesting yet difficult sign of self-love comes from setting boundaries and expecting them to be respected. Boundaries give you a territory of personal space, which may not be open for everyone. It also means saying “no” to something you really do not want to do. Becoming a “yes” person always makes you dishonest with yourself, which is quite contradictory to self-love. Boundaries help you to be honest with yourself which will make you respect yourself more. This positive cycle itself is a major factor in self-love.

Conversely, in today’s social media world, small or big wins are associated with the number of likes, comments, and shares on social platforms. This changes the locus of control and appreciation of external factors or people only. While it is a matter of pride to showcase the achievements on social media, it is even more imperative to celebrate the small wins or big wins with yourself first. There has to be an internal celebratory hoorah, a clap on the back for doing what you wanted to do. This will lower the pressure of acceptance on social media and create a sense of self-fulfillment which has no bridge to the outside world. Less dependence on external validation is a major milestone in having self-love in this current world.

What follows suit is due to loving yourself unapologetically, you lower and quite diminish the comparison with others. It is an understanding that each individual is on their own journey and most people do not show their entirety of life on social media. This brings peace along with an independent ambition to surge forward, simply because you love yourself enough to see that you are unique from everyone else.

Self-care and self-love are commonly discussed topics. While the former is an integral part of the latter, it is not holistic. Today companies and markets have created a penchant for people to believe that self-care is the only way to self-love. You must be mindful of creating a connection between the two, utilizing all self- care like aroma candles, bath accessories and beautifying products to optimize your journey to self-love is not sufficient. The ultimate truth about self-love is a heart full of gratitude. A sure sign that you love your being is being thankful for each passing day and event. Practising gratitude not only enhances the positive outlook of life but also invites an immense flow of divine blessings. So, here’s to loving yourself, a little more each day, because hey! You’re worth it!