“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel”- Maya Angelou
Many say Relationships can get complicated, I personally don’t disagree with that statement but I also feel Relationships are our Teachers. Every human being learns from every relationship they may have had in the past of have in the present. Relationships teach us things about ourself and help us to see things we need to change in ourself for the better. Relationships also show us what we should and what we should not do.
Each individual is a part of a family along with extended family and friends. Learning how to navigate through these relationships while not losing your own identity is crucial. It can be very easy to become a part of the herd mentality and how everyone else feels and thinks but it is important to keep the individuality alive as well. Relationships are about embracing the difference each individual brings and not about creating a clone of ourself. Many a times we are trying to convince others to have the same opinions like us or the same lifestyle like us which is not how we include differences. Relationships help us to broaden our perspective and learn more about life and who are we. Control is a disease in any relationship as it restricts the individual growth and brings in a lot of rigidity. Very often due to insecurities from the past, control can become a huge component in relationships, leaving the trust behind. This can be a huge downfall in relationships. Trust is an individual process that every person has to work on internally, first towards themselves, then others.
Conflicts, arguments, are a part of every relationship along with blaming but we need to move towards the mindset of taking responsibility and giving thought to what could be done differently. As a human race we have evolved in many aspects and it is time now to change how we view relationships as well. Relationships are not a way to fulfill our own needs and expectations but rather accept people for who they are even if that does not resonate with who we are. Yes there are expectations in every relationship but we need to align them with the opposite person’s capacity which is something we all need to learn and understand. We need to open our mind and look at relationships as a way forward and not have the same traditional expectations from relationships. With so much growth around us, it is now time to also grow in the way we relate to relationships.
In the times we live with such hustle bustle around us all the time, understanding and maintaining authentic connections with self and others is more crucial than ever. Relationships are support systems where we need to create an environment so there are opportunities of growth available for every individual. It is a way to understand who we are and create space for others so that they can fly. It is not about possessing anyone and making them work as per our understanding but rather help them develop their own understanding so they can be self-reliant. Relationships are not a means to happiness but rather one needs to find joy within to bring it into all their relationships. Relationships is about loving and staying one even when times are tough and differences become larger. All of the above is only possible when we understand our own relationship with ourself as the way we treat ourself, others will treat us in the same manner. So do give a thought to what is the quality of your relationship with yourself, is it uplifting or belittling as that is what we will see in others as well.
“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better” – Maya Angelou
